Love Without Fear

I awoke at 3:35am to the sound of rapidly flapping wings. I think I brushed it off as a dream about bats, but grew slightly more concerned as the noise continued. Suddenly, I heard a soft thud, scratching, and thought to myself, "Oh dear God... it is a bat." I stood up, said, "Lindsay, be strong," and turned on the bedside lamp, only to see my little bat friend fly to my pillow. I started screaming, waking up my housemate Allison in the next room. "What is it?!" She asked. "A bat! There's a bat in my room!" We both screamed as the bat swooped just over our heads and began circling over us - into the kitchen, around the living room, into the kitchen, around the living room... always inches from our heads. Allison and I squatted next to the wall, me with a blanket over my head, Allison crying, "Lord! What do we do? Please make it leave!" I suggested that we hide in the computer room while we devised a plan to get rid of Mr. Bat. A few minutes later, the flapping and swooping noises came to a halt and I opened the door just a bit to listen more carefully... nothing. I opened the door a little wider... nothing still. We looked around the house - in the kitchen, in the living room, and Batty-kins was nowhere to be found. Praise the Lord, he flew out the door and into the night on his own, and we were pretty happy about that.

We decided to try and discover how our little friend got himself into my room. My window had been open just an inch from the bottom - but you'd think the fully intact screen would have prevented anything larger than a blackfly from coming in. We scratched our heads, looked around the room, and gave up. It seemed there was just no possible way. I opened the door to my room apprehensively, peering out to make sure all was clear. Allison said, "You know, this is just like fear. Fear wants to hold us captive even after the problem is gone, while what we should actually be doing is thanking God for getting rid of it." "You're right," I said, and took a bold step into the living room, where I said goodnight to Allison again, and went back to sleep.

Batty's timing was impeccable. I'm volunteering at a Vacation Bible School this week, and the theme for yesterday was - you guessed it - fear. Helen, the devotion leader, talked about Peter's walking on water attempt, and how his fear made him sink.

"Come," [Jesus] said.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"

Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"

(Matthew 14:29-31)

Helen said, "Aren't we like that? When we're faced with a new situation, we often become afraid, and we lose faith." Immediately I was reminded of myself. I've just begun a relationship with an absolutely lovely person whom I care for deeply. Yet, I had fears - fears that accumulated based on hurts from past relationships, the divorce rate, illness, horror stories. You name it - I was scared about it. And I almost let it completely overcome me and destroy this new love. Through of a series of events and conversations I found myself on the floor, crying, asking God for help. "Lord, save me!" I thank God that He IS mighty to save, and He reached out His hand and caught me. He showed me more of His character - He is a loving God, and a loving Father who would not give a snake when his child asked for a fish. I had been asking for this relationship for so long - for nine months - and finally God had blessed me with my heart's desire. Why now would He rip it away? God showed me that I need to love without fear. That's how He loves me, and that's how He loves you.

1 John 4:18
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

Love Like Crazy

I heard a rumor that love will make you crazy / Well is it true? / That's no rumor; look at the crazy things that love made Jesus do. / The friends He chose were thought to be outrageous / And you could even find Him touching the contagious / And the craziest is how He chose to save us / He gave His life away, then He had to go and say / "Got to love the same way that I love you."

Love like crazy / The way He loves you and me / 'Cause if the world's ever gonna change / We gotta love like crazy.

These are a few of the lyrics to one of my favourite Chris Rice songs. It's a song that challenges me almost daily. Here's an example.

I spent a week in Nova Scotia at the end of June to help a friend with wedding preparations. We were in Truro one day so that she could get her mani and pedi - and while sitting in the overwhelmingly fumey Queen Nails, I felt a little drowsy and thought, "hmm, maybe a coffee will do the trick" - which is kind of funny, since I'm not a huge coffee fan. But off I went to the Fair Trade Cafe where I ordered and purchased a cafe mocha. On the way in, I passed a man sitting in a wheelchair. Didn't really give him much thought until the way out. As I passed him, I prayed a silent prayer, "Lord, bless him." And within a second or two, I felt silly - how can I pray for God to bless him when I, supposedly Jesus' hands and feet, am not willing to do anything? Something prompted me to give him my cafe mocha. Yes, the cafe mocha that I just bought, the cafe mocha that was going to perk me up so I could be in a good mood for the bride-to-be. I argued with that voice. "No," I thought. "You want me to just go up to him and say, 'Hi, would you like a cafe mocha?' No. It's too weird. He'll probably think I'm crazy. Or maybe I'm only doing it out of pity. I wouldn't want him to think that." Love like crazy, the voice said. I continued to walk, ignoring the voice, until I sat down at a table in the park. I stared at my coffee. "I don't actually need this," I thought. "I don't even really like coffee." I sat there for a good ten minutes before I finally got over my fear of looking stupid. I stood up, turned back towards the cafe, and stopped - the man was gone. I felt foolish to have missed such an opportunity. Such a simple act... a random act of kindness - that was just too much for me to do.

What would happen if we all obeyed the promptings of the Holy Spirit? Even in the seemingly little things... as my beloved example Mama T says, "We can do no great things, just small things with great love. It is not how much you do, but how much love you put into doing it."

I'm sorry, Jesus. Next time, I'll love like You would... even if it looks crazy.

Ephesians 5:15-17